Whazzup...

I duuno y i need to create this blog but i cant help myself to not create it...because right now I really need places to rest my brain..

What am I thinking bout???

The most thing that owez n keep flyin in my mind was my hubby..the person that I really love..really adore..really care about...easy to say..I MISS HIM A LOT>>VERY DAMN MUCH...but my mind said that he never ever miss me either...I dont care...but im sad if that was really true...I really scare a.k.a afraid if this time or at this condition he make decision to leave or to give up with our relationship BCOZ im so death really in LUV with this guy..how can I survive without him???even 1 hour, i cant be apart with him...damn..what am I? which planet i came from...???

Sumtimes, i dunno how to express my luv for him..but honestly..from day to day,..i cant feel his love anymore..and it makes me sad n keep wondering is it true what am i thinking..Dear God..please keep us together forever...!

Unfortunately, my eyes still cant sleep..n i must force it to sleep bcoz i got class tomolo...k..gudnite..

Its all about a little girl dreams...

I'm writing again in this blog because I want to recall my dreams future lifes..I dont know how to start but let me share about my day...yeah..today is friday...our class cancel..What a good news to us...hahahha...n my machine labsheet also have to delay be in Mr.Bad peagent hold..hahaha..sorry Mr.Bad...Feel very lazy n have to delay submit ur work..hahaha..Whatever...I have a great day today with my bestfriends..Thanks ther for brigthen my day..Last night i'm in a bad mood because of my hubby...But what more can I say..Its boy/men..Just leave it to God..But today evening we had heart to heart talk..Thanks God because bless this relationship..n thanks God because our conversation done well n he can accept my words..As long as it settle..I dont mind..About trusting him..hurm..hard for me to trust him again...Just because he ever cheating on me..When I recall that memory..Its hurt..N I wonder why...Why I can forgive him that easily??N my heart answer..Because the power of love...

Talking about love...hurmm...

when talking bout love...I suddenly think about marriage...Can I get married with him??My heart always say NO because his mom doesnt like me..n Im not her favourite..I know..I dont know how to suck up his mother..I just can be myself..I just cant be hypocrite..n If this is our destiny..I'll leave it to God..because Marriage needs bless from both of our sides..But in the beginning there is many things we have to face..Hurmm..thats why when my friends ask about married I just can smile n pretend that question fly like a wind..BUt God..I really love this guy..Give us a strength to faces this challenge..Please change their heart n open their mind n heart to bless this relationship GOd..I hope so...

Back to dream...
Sumtimes..when I was sitting or lying alone..I was start to dreaming...Dreaming about future lifes..Dreams bout my future family..hehehe..its nice to be a wife n mother..but its hard to manage children...Sumtimes I feel want to getting married at this age..but getting married is not simple n easy I was dream because I know my dad will kill me..n to get married need money to celebrate it..because I want to be beautiful on my wedding day..n I want to get photoshoot with my groom..hahaha..what a dreams..hahaha..I wish I could be a beautiful bride during my wedding day..I want have a great family n beautiful family..with all of people bless... I really want to get a beautiful wedding dress... I really in love with marriage things such as rings..dress..receptions..oww Gosh...

                                       My wedding rings..hahahha....

     My future wedding dress...I will find this wedding dress when my day is come later..hehehe..cant wait for it...

     This is my dream house..not to big but must comfortable..hehhehe..demand huh..hahaha..

Thats all for today..hahaha..thanks blog because hear my nonsense..hehhehe..

I'm so damn pissed off...

Yeah..today im damn pissed off...because I've found out my BF still contact that sLut behind me...why i said he doing this behind me??????BECAUSE HE HIDE ALL HIS HISTORY WHEN HE COMMENT WITH THAT GIRL..OMG..my heart really broke..there is many hidden things behind my back??why??God...my body still shaking because I really cant control my anger...WHY IS THIS MUST HAPPEN BEHIND MY BACK???WHY???BECAUSE I REALLY HATE THAT SLUT N HE FOUND OUT I HATE THAT KETING BIATCH GIRL..OMG...I wanna tell whole world..that I really HATE a GIRL named KAT KATT...I dunno her full name..but God forgive me coz hating my enemy..but really I cant control my hatred...I'm damn anger right now...n I feel dun want to see my BF faces again..but I hate my feeling..I duuno...I dont care who that girl to him but what I want is...I dont want that girl n hear that fucking name..O God...OMG...Im really messed up...I cant stop to curse that girl with my words..God forgive me..Because from their reaction i can feel there is girl feeling from that fucking slutty whore..OMG...I really cant accept this..damnit...this is really pissed me off..I really cant accept if sum1 cheating on back or lie behind my back...but this is recently happen..17 Feb..wow...im knowing nothing that time..im so fool..GREAT..EXCELLENT JOB DEAR..U'RE THE BEST ACTOR N THE BEST LIAR..THANK U..God..I feel I want to give up in this relationship..I really love this guy..but this time he dare to cheats on me..O God..I really can accept it...I dont think he really want me if this is happen right now...If u really like her, i'll let u go..n U can be with that KAT KATT forever..i'll make sure u'll happy with your choice..n I will never let myself hurt again...If that her u cant stop to meet or contact..thats mean u'll really love her more than me because u'll sacrifice yourself for being with this girl...Whatever relationship between of you..why that name cant go away from your life ba????Is her more important to u than me??OMG..again...Im really hurt...This really bad...I never doing this behind his back..but why he doing all this n is all because off that slut..he can removes his comment history so that I cant see o detect...BRILLIANT...I just cant say any word again..what more can I say???maybe I should shut up n give a hypocrite smile to him..damnit....I really want shout this to the whole world...FUCK YOU BIATCH KAT KATT..I WILL HATE YOU UNTIL THE DAY I DIE..I WILL HATE YOU..FUCK YOU..N FUCK YOU AGAIN N AGAIN..I WILL HATE YOU UNTIL MY LAST BREATH...n for u my dear..I HOPE U STOP DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEHIND MY BACK..I AM REALLY DONT LIKE IT...MAYBE YOU SEACRHING FOR THE RIGHT GIRL TO BE UR WIFE RIGHT NOW..N I DONT MIND IF PICK KAT KATT..GOOD LUCK WITH THAT...n I'LL ALWAYS LOVE U...BEHIND UR BACK...BECAUSE NOW EVERYTHING IS HAPPEN BEHIND OUR BACK RIGHT..U'VE MAKE UR CHOICE SO I'LL HELP U TO MAKE IT SUCCESS...

AnGrY...ConfuSed...MigRaiN..

Wat a mess...n its so dispointed when i found out he now dare to join money thing..i dun noe how money can control anything..n i dun noe who influence him..?n im not gonna support him by doing this crap thing..it is impossible for money  to come that easy..Dear God,help me..please stop him...im not trying to force him not to do that thing..i just can see n hear wat happen n want to see is it that money can come n appear easy..that all was LAUT culture..


Why am AngRY????
I was angry because there is a sluty whore name Nabila HUmaira o sumthing..n this kimak little keting girl name katt katt so obses with him..My God..what should I do?I really can handle this thing because this so sensitive to me..n I will hate this 2 girls forever in my heart..Forgive me dear God..i never meant to but i cant control this human feeling..wat more can i say God..this is all about my confession n my feeling that makes me feeling like shit...I really love this guy..n I cant see o hear any girl try to woo with him..feel like im want to kill that girl..why girls a day chasing others boyfriends???I really dun understand..n I hate this style..besides they will use anything to get him..maybe sumday we will use witch/wizard way..n I dun noe wat to do..just sitting there n try to carry on my life..!OMG..i cant imagine it..it really hurt..!


Why am I confuse?
I dun noe is my bestfriend feel about me now..its all about AKJ..its look like she was really dissapointed because of her last result..im writing this not to stab her o wat..this is not about hate..this is all about friendship support..I can see a lil bit unsatisfy in her eyes n i dun dare to hurt her if i was asking her...if her in  my place..im very damn happy because no need to go to stage..I HAte stage very much..n I also doesnt expect my result that time..why im saying she was unsatisfy? Coz she always mention that she almost AKJ same as us..She just like cant accept this moment...im not blaming on her..that natural human feeling..n i never meant to compete with anyone especially my bestfriend...im really feel sorry...this part look like gonna hurt her feeling but she try not to show me..but i can see through her eyes...I noe she dun want to ruin our friendship because of that natural human feeling..but I hope this semester we can achieve n success...I hope there is no jelousy..no unsatisfy...n Thanks God coz owez bless my family...

its february already...

yeah..its february oready...n everything happen to fast...i wish i could stop time..bcoz i got lot work waiting for me..ermmm..its CNY now..i tot rabbit year can bring more luck to us..but it getting worse..many of my friends dumped by their loves one..i hope im not in da list...i hope he will owez stick with me..i hope so...but in the future..who knows...i hope this year i will get excellent achivement...i hope everything going just fine...today my bestfriends have breakup with her boyfriend..i dunno wat to say..i juz can say 'be patience' to her...God,I hope you will bring her happiness n joy...n open her boyfriend heart to back to her again..Amen..im so happy today coz we have bbq n my first time tomato mee 'laku'..hehehe..i hope God will owez bless me n my clan..